Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘procrastination’

Greetings, inhabitants of the blogging world.

As you can see, today is indeed an excellent day, for it is the day when I finally put aside all my University work (along with other productive and important things I really should be doing right now) so I can return to the procrastinating side of the internet and bring my blog back to life. Or at least, attempt to heal it from it’s pitiful and dying state.

Yes, I have finally returned from my deep slumber, yes, I know it’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything interesting, and yes, I really should be apologising for my lack of commitment, but alas, I’ve run out of excuses. Instead, I shall take this moment to thank my few remaining followers for sticking with me despite my unexplained absences. I will try to stop letting you guys down. I will try.

Anyway, before I bore you all to death, let me move to my main point. Today, what I really wanted to talk about is not why I haven’t been on for so long (I’m a University student now; need I say more? No, I didn’t think so). I wanted to talk about the alarmingly large number of pet accounts on Facebook.

Now, before I begin, let me just say this (before all of you pet lovers come at me with false accusations and unnecessary attacks): I have nothing against animals or pets. I love pets. I have three cats (well, technically I only have one, but my cat is an extremely seductive female and thus I now have to care for the two stray males who hang around my house waiting for food and attempting to flirt with my prized creature), a dog, and I recently acquired a new puppy. Yet, no matter how much I love animals, I will never be able to understand why some people feel the need to put their pets all over the internet.

By “put their pets all over the internet”, I don’t mean sharing photos of their adorable little animals, because that is still sort of understandable. What I mean is when these obsessed owners start creating YouTube channels and Facebook profiles for their pets, and fill these profiles with nonsense. All right, I admit some animal YouTube channels are pretty entertaining (or maybe I’m just biased towards cat videos), but then there are the ones that are basically full of low quality footage, recorded by bored owners who have nothing to do but follow their pets around the house all day. Now, the YouTube videos are bad enough. But no, these pets had to go dominate Facebook as well. I have met people who give their dogs Facebook profiles, and help their dogs update statuses, because “oh, our darling doggie Fido is part of the family :)”. It drives me insane! These owners create all these profiles, to help build the illusion that their pets are like humans, and that they share this “special connection”. Well, I don’t care how big a part the family pet plays in the family. The truth is, your pet cannot type. It is completely unfeasible to know exactly what your pet is feeling, no matter how close the two of you are, so what gives you the right to pretend to be your dog on Facebook, and write statuses as if you know exactly what is going on in that creatures mind? For all you know, your dog could be plotting world domination… Or ready to take a dump on your sneakers.

The alarming amount of animal profiles that exist on Facebook is just beyond me. Some people even make blogspot, Tumblr and WordPress accounts for their beloved pets. I find it all… Confusing. I mean, isn’t it hard enough to blog for yourself? It takes me forever  (though I bet you already knew that. oops.) to put together a blog post that I find worthy of your attention, and add to that my Tumblr and Facebook accounts and all my free time is used up. So where on earth do these owners find time to blog for themselves and their pets? Do they not have jobs? Or school? It must take an eternity to blog for yourself, your dog, your cat, and your parrots. In my opinion, it’s crazy, and a complete waste of time (although… Most of the things I do are a complete waste of time, so I don’t have much right to judge).

It isn’t just the owners who’re wasting time. I wonder how other Facebook users can bear to be friends with animals on Facebook. It’s bad enough having to tolerate boring, pointless statuses on my newsfeed by humans. Now, imagine having your newsfeed full of boring, pointless statuses by animals! Aww, you just jumped on your owner’s sofa hoping for some love? That’s cute, but IRRELEVANT. What, you just ate your favourite brand of dog food? Interesting, what’s it got to do with me? Honestly, I really DON’T CARE what these animals are up to. But for some reason, these pets are gaining popularity all over the internet, and the number of profiles created for animals is increasing at a terrifying rate. Soon, Facebook will have more animals than humans, and before we know it, these pets will be chatting each other up and having online relationships and discussing topics like “Cat politics” and “How To Overthrow The Humans”. Best beware fellow blogger friends, for if we don’t act now, soon our time will be over, and our darling kittens will dominate the online world.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »